Complexities among shades of Grey!!!

To confess, my next blog was ‘The warmth of his hand’….but a discussion with a friend and her complex situation with her boyfriend turned the course of action towards this blog J
I did like to start with a disclaimer – this isn’t a second in series of male bashing articles but a different perspective rather my perspective to reading the dominant sex (by sheer number).

While all women across the world drooled over E. L. James depiction of young business magnate, Christian Grey and his 50 shades, I would like to draw your attention to the not so happening shades of a man.

I looked up Wikipedia and understand that the sex ratio for the entire world population is 101 males to 100 females. Then am sure the one man over the 100 is Christian Grey. So here is my reading of the not so happening traits among men that an average woman would abhor or in my perspective are beyond normal.

Men who laugh without a reason – don’t give me surprised looks, they exist and in our very own world. A friend brought this up, she was seeing this guy for some time and was just unable to understand the cause of his laughter without a reason on anything or without anything, she is sitting across a table, talking something she needs an opinion on and here goes the laughter. Am sure the thinking bandwagon would tick there on thoughts of course what was the laughter which breaks in every few seconds for? Worst still…..what’s the joke dude? The only oxymoron that fits well for such people is I got to fathom the depth of their shallow minds.

Men who go silent or are non-reactive – you talk to them one reaction silence, you convey your thoughts no response. Imagine a conversation where a woman is her chirpy self, excited to meet him after days, loads to share and there is only one reaction……you got that right no reaction J. On another note I do agree that most men are more visually-driven, they would be watching her rather than hearing her J

Men who are non-responsive – Well this could be coming from the known trait most men can’t express themselves. Don’t express, respond to situations, respond to people. I saw her in a fix and had to tell her don’t expect a response. I do sometimes feel being more direct might help, but it depends on what we ask for. A vaguely asked question might not be responded specially the “we need to talk!’ ones.

Given this I still feel that women can be more complex than men. Given the complexity, I am not among those who pose problems, I think there is a solution to every problem and some quick fixes may help.

Be direct – Avoid using hinting as a way to ask for what you want, be direct. These tactics make men feel manipulated and lost, that makes them angry.

Give time – Men have been trained to have all the answers and avoid showing their fear or uncertainty. Men prefer to talk only when they know the answer or solution, and will not like to talk much until then. They like to do their thinking process silently. So give time.

Give Way – there will be enough clues to understand if you can carry on or not. Get them right; don’t hang around the branch if it’s growing thorns. Understand and move on. You might be the next Adele and make it big after he is gone who knows J

Lastly to err is human be it us or them so never give up on someone you can’t go a day without thinking about, rest time heals everything!!

I can’t end it without a nazm, so here it is…

गाँठ अगर लग जाये तोह फिर रिश्ते हों या डोरी 
लाख करे कोशिश खुलने में वक़्त तोह लगता है।

नए परिंदों को उड़ने में वक़्त तोह लगता है 
प्यार का पहला ख़त लिखने में वक़्त तोह लगता है। 

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