W is Whirlpool – Love is not my need


If you missed previous parts read them here: part 1,part 2, part3, Part 4part 5part 6part 7, part 8part 9part10part11part 12part 13part 14,  Part 15, Part 16Part 17part 18Part 19Part 20Part 21, part 22

I hugged Maya at the airport. She had postponed her trip by two weeks and I got some time to be by myself and calm my nerves. However, the past two weeks had been heavy. I did sat on the couch for hours staring at nothing or be up all night in bed binging dessert. Maya could see through the mess in an instant. She did not broach the topic until we reached the car.

“To home?” I asked avoiding eye contact.

“No! To Barry’s.” Barry’s used to be our regular hangout pub. I drove without a question.

The waiter wasn’t expecting a woman with a pregnancy bump another with heavy dark circles in toe as early as 19.30, however was decent enough to hand us happy hour menu. We settled in a corner, I felt torn between feeling happy for my best friend’s pregnancy and my heartbreak. She held my hand and spoke, “I have something to tell you, Rohan had called Ravi last night.”

“Oh, how is he? Am sure he did be busy with his work in Delhi.” It was always difficult to camouflage my emotions in front of Maya.

“He didn’t seem his usual self. With disheveled hair and bags under his eyes, it clear he had been drinking a lot. He tried to show he was normal but Ravi and I could see through him. Am sure you read about his company winning the highway project, that is a great achievement and with that he will venture his company in the infrastructure space. I congratulated him and you know what he said? ” I didn’t know whether to feel good that he felt the same pain that I did or feel sad about his state.

“What?” I listened intently.

“What kind of celebration it is when I don’t have Ananya by my side to share this.” Maya paused.

I was surprised at what I heard, “Why is he doing this if he feels the same way I do for him?”

“I don’t know Ananya. He spoke about his mother’s death. I knew it was a suicide Ravi never shared much detail. Yesterday in pain, he spoke that his mother suffered from Marfan syndrome, a rare genetic disease that affects the connective tissues. It had affected her nervous system and the pain was unbearable thus she gave up her life.”

I was silent, Rohan did sometime shared things about his mother but this detail and behind the smile was a hurting heart. He’s eccedentesiast after his mother’s death.

My pain looked minimal after hearing Maya talk about Rohan. We existed the pub much later than we did thought and occupied my mind with a zillion thoughts. I twisted and turned in bed until 3 am, contemplating to text Rohan. In all of this I still did not know why he did say no. After a bout of indecisiveness, I finally picked up my phone. And texted him, “I was thinking of you, want to talk?” click…sent. The message showed delivered and the next moment it turned to read. Was he awake and thinking of us? There was no us! While my thoughts tugged the dots on the message window started jumping, he was typing. I started at what was going to come. Then the suddenly stopped.

I waited a minute,

Two minutes.

Five minutes.

A half an hour.

An entire hour.

The words never came.

then I placed it aside. The whirlpool inside me settled. There was no hope. It was over.


To Be Continued Tomorrow…

This post is written for#BlogchatterA2Z for Blogchatter.

One Response
  1. May 1, 2018

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