I is imponed – Love is not my need

AtoZ2018

If you missed previous parts read them here: part 1,part 2, part3, Part 4part 5part 6part 7, part 8

I got up feeling lazy and tossed and turned in bed. I checked my phone and it was just 8.30, coaxed myself to sleep another half an hour before I could get ready and go to my mom’s place. It was a Sunday ritual but this time I had a plantation drive to attend to so I pushed it to Saturday.

I closed my eyes and tried to sleep when the bell rang. I hated morning visitors and had instructed my milk vendor and newspaper guy to leave them at the door side. I forced myself out of bed and went to get the door. Rohan stood there smiling as I opened unaware what to expect. I kept looking at him not knowing what to do.

“May I?” he beamed showing me the bag he was holding. I turned sideways to let him enter, he brushed by me whispering into my ear, “I love your morning look!.”

Hair on the back of my neck stood up with the fragrance of musk from him. I looked at him as he walked confidently by me. He looked sexy in a white linen shirt and khakhi pants, fresh out of a shower. I could not help but admire how well toned his body was. I could see his triceps from the rolled up sleeves to the elbow and his pants fitted just fine to show his great ass.

“If you are done with ogling my butt we can settle to eat.” He spoke without turning. I shut the door as he walked to the kitchen to get the plates. I sat on the couch as he placed the plates on the center table. He again looked at me, “You look gorgeous in the morning Ani.”

I sat there in shorts and a loose tee with disheveled hair thinking what could be so gorgeous about it. My nipples perked and decided to act stubborn and not settle. It was Rohan’s effect on me. Rohan’s eyes dropped and took a lingering look before his gaze returned to mine with a jubilant smile.

I adjusted my hair and spoke, “What made you come for breakfast uninvited.”

“How was your date last night?” Rohan had an uncanny way of changing topics.

“It was awesome!”

“You look radiantly beautiful when you lie.”

“I am not lying!”

“You circle your thumb with your index finger when you lie, Ani.”

“That is bullshit.”

“The thing is you went on a date and kept thinking of me and how I make you feel. You missed being with me and that is the comparison you are rubbishing.” He laughed speaking.

“We had sex and I made no comparisons.” I revolted.

“Oh is it? And what are you doing with your fingers now?” he looked pointing at my finger that was circling my thumb.

I hated him knowing so much about me and I felt nice that he observed so much about me.

“Umm this is delicious.” He spoke, breaking my reverie, eating the chocolate croissant.

“I like the coffee too.” I was refreshed with the change of topic.

“Let me take you out for dinner tonight.”

“No.”

He rolled his eyes speaking, “There is no denying you like me and I like you. Then why this avoidance?”

“Because I don’t feel like going out.”

“You can go out with someone who you are barely interested in but cannot come with me who I am sure you like to be with. Why?”

I thought for a moment and decided to be honest.

“Rohan, I was in a serious relationship with Mohit. I thought my world started and ended with him. I never looked at finances or who put in what amount, when we moved in together. Today, I have lost my only investment, my home. I have lost my friends as we had common friends. I have a huge loan that I took to set his business, which is not going to be repaid by him. Our relation was reduced to me required only for his finances and paying credit card bills. I stay in this rented apartment and make a living. I am not ready for any kind of relationship right now. I still have not come to terms with the way I felt duped and manipulated in the relationship I was so invested in. I clearly have trust issues to deal with.”

He listened carefully and exhaled, “I understand. Then why go on a date with Sameer?”

“Sameer is a decent guy. I have met him only twice. While I do not want to be heavily invested, I do not want to be celibate as well. With Sameer I am sure I will not be involved or get swayed away. If that makes sense?”

I kept the yogurt cup away and looked blankly outside the window. There was silence for some while before Rohan spoke, “It all falls in place now. I completely get what you mean. It for sure makes sense.” He exhaled deeply before speaking again, “I stay in a different city and am not looking for a relationship either. I have my set of things to deal with and cannot carry the baggage of a responsibility. I am in Bangalore only for a short time until my project is completed and if you agree we can be in some sort of an arrangement, which is not a relationship but just physical with a timeline.” He looked at me closely.

“Love is not my need as well.”

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Be Continued Tomorrow…

This post is written for#BlogchatterA2Z for Blogchatter.

8 Comments
  1. April 10, 2018
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