Unwanted Decisions……

There are certain situations that put us in jeopardy and give us no choice but to make one decision….the decision we don’t want to make, the decision that we know will do no good, the decision that will not let us be ourselves ever in life and the decision that will make us lose the most valuable people in life. This blog post is dedicated to those decisions who themselves would have died a thousand deaths when someone took them.

It was September of 2000 and had got my semester results; I called my sister straight from college and started in my chirpy voice, “Guddi di, hello….hello…” the phone went blank before I could hear her. I dialed again, “Guddidi, you there…” A meek but serious voice answered back, “Yeh Sweetie” I could wait further and broke the news, “I have passed with flying colors this semester.” I could not curb my happiness and wanted to speak at length. “I am very happy for you Sweetie, keep it up” Not hearing all of it, I mentioned I will come in a week’s time speak to her at length and hung up.

In a week’s time before I could meet her, she gave up her life. She was 25. A decision made over a failed marriage, dreams crashed, unwanted circumstances. I think very often of the moment she would have faced, when she stood on the parapet of the 7th floor looking down the building before jumping. A decision that she never wanted to take, a decision that affected us all for life…..

There are times when people fall in love and feel they would not want anything else in life but the hand of the person
they love. Then make a decision of parting for reasons that rest on their shoulders as responsibilities or social obligations. This decision keeps all around happy, except for the person who made it. That person loses herself forever. She changes to someone whom she cannot recognize in the mirror. She is like that complex jigsaw that cannot be put together by anyone but her love.

We read big books, attend sessions and belong to the well-read class, we all would be found telling the other its one life to live, why not make the fullest of what we have. And when it comes to making that one decision we fail and let our soul down. We make that one decision for our parents, for our loved ones for anyone else but for ourselves. Can we not just do what would keep us happy rather than the superficial others? Better said than done….i agree.

So here’s this dedication for all the people who made this one unwanted decision in life and lost the one they loved and knew with whom they would have made the best of life. This nazm is written by poet Ahmed Faraz and sung by the late Mehndi Hassan.

अब के हम बिछड़े तोह शायद कभी ख़्वाबों में मिले
जिस तरह सूखे हुए फूल किताबों में मिले…..

ढून्ढ उजड़े लोगों में वफ़ा के मोती 
यह खजाने तुझे मुमकिन है खरबों में मिले…….

तू खुदा हें ना मेरा इश्क फ़रिश्तों जैसा
दोनों इंसान हैं तोह इनुम इतने हिजाबों में मिले….

घम-ए-दुनिया भी घम-ए-यार में शामिल कर लो
नशा बहता है शराबों में तोह शराबों में मिले….

अब लबों में हूं ना तू हें ना माझी है फराक
जैसे दो साए तमाना के सराबों में मिले…

Miss you!!!

If we now part, we will find
each other in dreams
like we find the dry flowers
pressed against the pages of books

Perhaps you’ll find
the pearls of loyalty
in the fog of desolate, lost people
fallen to dark misfortunes.
You are not God,
nor is my love like angels
we are both human,
so why we meet behind veils?
Let’s put sorrows of life
into the pathos of love.
only waters of fire
add fires to waters.
Now it’s not me, not you
nor is the past, O Faraaz!
we’re like two people
meeting in the mirage of desires.

One Response
  1. October 10, 2014

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